Memorial Service Scheduled

The memorial service for Julia has been schedule for 11:00 a.m. on Saturday June 20th. It will be held at the Rockwood United Methodist Church. Those traveling from Knoxville will take a left on Hwy 27 at the first traffic light in Rockwood (not counting the lights at WalMart)...Evans Mortuary will be on your right. The church is located on the left before you arrive at the stop sign on Kingston Ave...you cannot miss it.

From a "SALTY PIECE OF LAND" by Jimmy Buffet

I wanted to share this with you, it is an excerpt from a book that Julia wanted me to read and since I've only been able to read to help me fall asleep I just read this last night. It was like a gift from my guardian angel.

"Old friend, grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop moving forward. But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually dissipate. And after a long enough time, the waters of your life get calm again, and that is when the memories of those who have left begin to shine as bright and as enduring as the stars above."

Heaven Has a New & Very Beautiful Angel

It is with a very heavy ache in my heart that I blog now. Julie left this earth to be with her savior at 12:55 today. I know that each of you are saddened just as I. I am so thankful that God blessed me with the opportunity to call her my friend.

The family will have a memorial service most likely two weeks from tomorrow. As I know more I will post. Also, with the family's permission I would like to continue to share old photos and possibly stories of Julie over the next few weeks as a celebration of one of the sweetest lives I have been priviledged to experience.

I know for sure I now have a guardian angel.

Please read previous blog before reading this

Shortly after entering the blog last night, we received a call that Julia's breathing was much worse and the cancer has spread throughout her abdomen. I called Jan and we went back to the hospital. When we arrived the nurses were actually glad we were there and there was no problem with being allowed to see her. She had a panic attack on Wednesday and she told us she had another one but it was 10x worse and she has so much fluid in her abdomen that when she starts having breathing problems it just gets unbearable. The nurse also informed us that she has severe sepsis in the blood. Jan and I had a very sweet visit with Julia. Jan prayed with her, we discussed things the she wanted done upon her passing and were able to tell her we loved her and that when she and God were ready for her it was ok because she would be in a better place with her mother and we would be ok and we would join her there one day. It was very difficult but I am so glad we had the time to share. We asked her if she wanted her pastor to come and she said she would but in the morning (of course Jan had him on standby). Linda, Mike and Judy arrived so we went back to a room so they could have time with her. Julia totally understands what is happpening to her and she and the dr decided it was best not to use life saving efforts such as ventilator etc. After awhile Jan and I went back in to see her again to say goodnight and Jan told her she wanted to read her a bedtime story and she read Psalms 23 and again we were able to tell her we loved her so very much and of course she confirmed the same. I hate to think of losing my very dear friend but I am at peace with all. We don't know how long she has but I can't imagine it being very long. I will update you as soon as I can. I am going back to the hospital this morning to help Linda with some business matters...I know everyone knew I couldn't stay away. Again, thanks so much for your continued love and prayers.

Now in ICU

I felt so hopeful this morning when I blogged. Shortly afterwards, Linda called and told me they planned on putting Julia on dialysis temporarily for about two weeks until they could get her kidneys to functioning again, of course this was a concern. I went up around noon and Jan joined me around 1:00 or so. Shortly after arriving the gastro specialist came in to discuss the feeding tube. Unfortunately he was concerned that the feeding tube may not be effective since sometimes in pancreatic cancer patients that are force fed their bodies cannot tolerate it and it comes back up. They decided to consider putting in the tube through her nose which is less invasive and see if she could then keep the food down over the weekend. If it was a sucess they would insert a peg tube in her stomach on Monday. A little later the hospitalist came in and said he was concerned about her blood pressure and that they may not be able to put the tube in if they didn't get her pressure up but because her kidneys were not functioning properly he could not give her more fluids to help raise her blood pressure. He said he was wanted her blood pressure taken again and he would decide what they would do. A little later he came down and talked to Linda, Jan and I out in the hall and said, "You know she is going to die from the cancer and we usually think in terms of 6-8 mos. and since we are having all the issues with her bodily functions it will be considerably less." He said, "She is very young and such a sweet lady and right now we are trying to make her comfortable and give her a little more time" (which I think he meant with more quality than she is currently experiencing). He then told us they had decided to move her to ICU so that she could be monitored more closely especially since her blood pressure remained so low (it was 74/54) and that way if something happened during the night etc. someone would be right there to help her and also he could treat her more effectively. Julia was ok with the move and frankly I think she feels so bad all she wants is to do whatever it takes to feel better. Linda, Mike and Sandra were there for the first visit after ICU and Linda felt alot better about her care and said she even looked better (they had put in a port so that she would not have all the tubes etc in her arms). Her breathing is very shallow and she is on oxygen. Of course right now her visitors are very limited. Unless she is worse I am going to stay away tomorrow so that she can rest and her family can take the visits...I think. I may not be able to stay away, when I am with her it makes me feel better and when I'm away I can't get her off my mind but I'm going to try to do what is best for her and the family, after all, I always tell her it's about her only and not about me or anyone else. I guess I need to practice what I preach. I appreciate your continued prayers more than anyone will ever know and I will keep you informed as quickly as possible.

Fight Mode Finally....I hope

I went to see Julia yesterday and at first it really scared me because I didn't think she was better but they gave her a breathing treatment and a few minutes later she started to look alot better. Jan went up yesterday afternoon and was there when the oncologist came in. Dr. Thompson has a very good bed side manner and he told her she was a very sick woman but as long as she stayed in the fight mode he would be there to help her. Julia will see the radiologist today and it sounded like they would start the treatments immediately. He said they would transport Julia by ambulance for her treatments. Also, she has agreed to a feeding tube which hopefully will give her enough nourishment that she can begin to regain strength. This really surprised me, I honestly did not think she would agree to it but "Thank God" she did so that certainly reflects a survival instinct which I was not sure was there before. Monday she told me she was really going to fight this and the optimistic side of me believed her but her previous behaviors still haunted me. Her PCP, Dr. Wilson, certainly had Mike, Linda, and I upset and I think it actually hit Julia as well. He was very sweet and kind but he did not paint a very rosey picture. They are also going to try to remove her bag and put in a stint. As soon as I know when or if it is completed I will let you know. The Dr did ask her if her heart stopped at any point did she want to be revived and she confirmed, "yes". Julia is very weak and needs our prayers for regaining of her strength and the needed strength for these procedures and I know everyone is praying because there is beginning to be some light. Originally the hospitalist said she would be there three days but I really don't see that as a possibility now. I am going up there today and I will let you know about cards and calls ASAP. Thanks for being there for her. It is my pleasure to be able to keep you informed.

Methodist Medical Center Room 441

Julia was transported to Oak Ridge around 2:00 a.m. this morning. I talked with Linda a little while ago and apparently she will not see the oncologist until in the morning. She has seen a nephrologist that said her kidneys are working but are very dry from the dehydration. Also, she does have some fluid in her lungs but they said that could be caused from the hydration efforts and they may have to slow that down. They called in a nutritionist and they tried a special drink but Julia was not able to drink it. I will bring you up to date as soon as we've heard something from the oncologist.

A Challenging Day

Mike, Linda and I took Julie to her primary care physician yesterday at 3:30. I had not planned on going with Linda but after my second visit yesterday I decided I should because I was afraid she might pass out on Linda and of course it being so hot had me even more concerned. When I got to the house Mike was there and we could sense he wanted to go. I'm really glad that all three of us were there because Julie is very sick and the doctor focused on her comfort and her decisions about the future. Jules was so dehydrated that she had to be transported by ambulance from the dr's office about 200 ft to the hospital. The dr was concerned that something could happen and she needed the experience of the EMT and he said we could get her in faster, stabilize her and then move her to Oak Ridge where the only oncologist is that can take her immediately. Julia's blood pressure was 68/44, she had dry heaves and she has a bladder infection and a touch of pneumonia. We arrived at the hospital around 4:15. They got her stabilized around 8:00 (I think), had her room, dr etc set up at Oak Ridge and were waiting for the ambulance. That was the beginning of the ER nightmare...it was like a full moon or something. They had two cardiac arrest and I don't know how many other emergencies. Every time a ambulance would be on it's way it would be deferred to another emergency or arrive and have to transfer a life or death patient to another hospital. Jan and Shirley had came up as soon as Jan found out we were at the hospital and finally Julia sent them home because Jan had to work today (somewhere around 11:00). Around midnight we talked to the dr and he said he didn't know when she would be moved because they just kept rolling in with more patients. Julia told Linda she thought it would be best if I brought her home so she could get some rest and get to Oak Ridge this morning. We really hated to leave her but she felt it would be best in the long run. I just talked to the hospital and she was transported earlier this morning. Mike, Judy and Linda will be going up early so I will post as soon as I know something. Please continue to pray for our girl.